He nods, slowly processing all this. "Thanks, Aoko-san...thanks." He takes a deep breath, swallows, then. "I don't like killing people. I hate killing people. I don't want to do it. It hurts. Killing people, does." He puts his hand on his chest. "The first time I did it, it was because I had to. Second time, it was almost an accident. Third time...I...I regret it. I'll always regret it. It's like...it's like a part of you dies too. So am I happy with the decisions I've made. No. I'm not. I never will be. Because that's how life works. You just gotta survive, that's all there is to it. So you just have to be tougher than the other guy for seventy years until you finally...die." He looks away. "I know it's grim, but it's life. I'm sorry. You don't want to hear that."

But here it's different. Here he can change his fate. Here he was...safe.

"No, I'm not happy," he sounds thoughtful, almost lost. "But...I...I can change it...can't I?" He didn't mean to say it out loud but for some reason he did.