badfic_logs | Truth is a loaded word

Character Names: Aoko Nakamori and Yoh Takami
When: October 31st, when everyone is released from the party, busy night.
Location: Aoko's room
Summary: Yoh tells the truth
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yoh is a warning all his own, talk of violence, horrible things, and potential mop beatings
Status: Ongoing.

Yoh stood outside of Aoko's door, still dressed in his horrible policeman costume. He knew he was going to regret this but...she'd been so happy to see him. He knew things would mend with Minatsuki, they always did, as long as the Takami siblings were together they would be alright. They would be family. And they would love each other no matter how much they acted otherwise. Minatsuki was his little sister, the one he had spent so long protecting and caring for he almost forgot what it was like to do anything else. But Aoko was different. She had no reason to like him. No reason to want to talk to him. As he'd concluded before she was actually, positively, unselfishly good so why was she still talking to him when he was so obviously...bad? It was making him look at himself, making him consider the person he was and that was something that Yoh hated. It made him feel sick. It was much better to dismiss himself as something close to evil and ignore the rest. It was like how he ignored his blind eye by brushing his hair over it. It was easy and it worked.

But he couldn't keep this bottled up. He needed to know what was going on here and why, despite trying to convince himself otherwise, he cared about her. He swallowed before knocking on the door. His stomach writhing with each pound of fist on wood.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Aoko blinked and looked over at him. Had she done something wrong? She frowned and scooted a little closer to him. Trying to judge the kind of mood he was in like she had always done when Kaito was still recovering from Toiichi's death.

"...Are you okay?" Just because she could say the wrong thing didn't mean that she was completely oblivious to everything around her. She made mistakes, hell, she made a lot of mistakes but that didn't mean she wasn't going to try and fix them.

He looked up at her and wondered what she was thinking. What the truth was for her. Whether he was just talking. "Aoko, I want to tell you something else." He said, sitting up again. "Just listen..."

Aoko froze at the mention of her name without an honorific and just nodded. She'd listen just as she was best at. The way he had used her name alerted her that this was serious and she had to act mature now.

"Of course..."

"I..." he stopped and swallowed. If he didn't do this now, he never would. "I really like you," he managed. "I think you're smart, and beautiful, and kind, and...I..." he stops there and gives her an embarrassed smile. It didn't matter what he thought, because at the end of the day he was a lying scumbag thief and she was a cop's daughter. "I just wanted you to know that."

Aoko was silent for a long time. She really wasn't sure what to say. It was a fact that she did like him-she had liked him as more then just a friend but right now she couldn't get over the fact he'd killed someone. That he could actually go though and take a life-it was...scary. Honestly.

However, she wasn't ready to cut him out entirely as she really felt like she she'd never be able to forgive herself if she just refused to give him another chance.

"Yoh-kun..." She started, wondering how she could go about this without hurting him too bad. She had ignored crushes before in order to avoid turning people down-she had never had anyone admit to it though. Mostly, because they were afraid of Kaito, but Aoko wasn't aware of that part.

"I think-I think you need to think about who you are, what you've done and what you're going to do before you decide something like that." She stated. "You obviously have to work through some stuff... um, Of course I'll stay right here, and I'll still be your friend if you really want-I'll help you in anyway I can."

For a second his heart stopped. But her words meant more than she would know. In the darkest corner of his heart he knew this would happen. Rational thought made him think that she would throw him out of her room. He was hoping she would forgive him and kiss him.

Something about this seemed almost like it was from a story. He had to prove himself to win her hand. But there was something about it that made this all the more difficult. He didn't want to find himself. He lived in a world of lies and denial. It was easier that way. It was safer.

"Who I am?" he breathed.

Aoko's eyes softened and she looked at him closely. She really wished she could tell him for him but that just wasn't possible. She felt bad for him, she really did but there wasn't anything she really could do aside from continue to be his friend.

"Yoh-kun... you have to figure that out on your own... but, you can start by thinking about if you're happy with all the decisions you've made."

He nods, slowly processing all this. "Thanks, Aoko-san...thanks." He takes a deep breath, swallows, then. "I don't like killing people. I hate killing people. I don't want to do it. It hurts. Killing people, does." He puts his hand on his chest. "The first time I did it, it was because I had to. Second time, it was almost an accident. Third time...I...I regret it. I'll always regret it. It's like...it's like a part of you dies too. So am I happy with the decisions I've made. No. I'm not. I never will be. Because that's how life works. You just gotta survive, that's all there is to it. So you just have to be tougher than the other guy for seventy years until you finally...die." He looks away. "I know it's grim, but it's life. I'm sorry. You don't want to hear that."

But here it's different. Here he can change his fate. Here he was...safe.

"No, I'm not happy," he sounds thoughtful, almost lost. "But...I...I can change it...can't I?" He didn't mean to say it out loud but for some reason he did.

She winced at the thought of him killing more then one person but just swallowed and tried to pretend like it wasn't bothering her as much as it was.

"Of course you can change-the only things that they can hold you accountable for here are the things you've already here. But-but nothing from before should matter, ne?"

Truth is a loaded word

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject