badfic_logs | Truth is a loaded word

Entry tags:

Truth is a loaded word

Character Names: Aoko Nakamori and Yoh Takami
When: October 31st, when everyone is released from the party, busy night.
Location: Aoko's room
Summary: Yoh tells the truth
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yoh is a warning all his own, talk of violence, horrible things, and potential mop beatings
Status: Ongoing.

Yoh stood outside of Aoko's door, still dressed in his horrible policeman costume. He knew he was going to regret this but...she'd been so happy to see him. He knew things would mend with Minatsuki, they always did, as long as the Takami siblings were together they would be alright. They would be family. And they would love each other no matter how much they acted otherwise. Minatsuki was his little sister, the one he had spent so long protecting and caring for he almost forgot what it was like to do anything else. But Aoko was different. She had no reason to like him. No reason to want to talk to him. As he'd concluded before she was actually, positively, unselfishly good so why was she still talking to him when he was so obviously...bad? It was making him look at himself, making him consider the person he was and that was something that Yoh hated. It made him feel sick. It was much better to dismiss himself as something close to evil and ignore the rest. It was like how he ignored his blind eye by brushing his hair over it. It was easy and it worked.

But he couldn't keep this bottled up. He needed to know what was going on here and why, despite trying to convince himself otherwise, he cared about her. He swallowed before knocking on the door. His stomach writhing with each pound of fist on wood.

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Aoko had just gotten changed out of that ridiculous bunny costume that had matched Kid's colors and changed into some very comfortable flannel pajamas. She was just about to settle into bed to read when the knock came on the door. Was she supposed to be expecting a visitor?

Oh no! What if it was someone here to get on to her for her and Kaito causing a huge mess? -That's probably exactly what it was! She was going to have to explain that he deserved it. Gathering her courage, Aoko got out of bed and moved over to the door, pulling it open and then blinking when it was only Yoh in a police officer costume still.

"Oh! Hi Yoh-kun!" Oh good, she wasn't in trouble.

"H-hi," he took the hat off, awkwardly, turning it nervously in his hands. "Can, um, can I come in?" He hoped it wasn't too rude or he wasn't pushing it too much but he needed to know.

What was he nervous about? She pulled the door open farther so he could easily step in. "Sure." She smiled at him again, innocence seemed to radiate off of her.

The costume she had disliked so much was now hanging neatly in the closet and the only thing out of place were her sheets where she'd gotten out of bed and a book. Not one for having visitors when her room was a mess (by her definition) Aoko moved over to her bed and fixed the sheets before sliding the book under her pillow.

"You can sit if you want." She offered. She wasn't entirely sure why he wanted to hang out in her room-there really wasn't much in it. there was a shelf of books that also head a weird robot looking thing that acted as a book end. There was also her bed, a futon, an assortment of recorded tapes, and her anti-Kid banner.

Edited 2010-11-06 07:22 (UTC)

He took it all in with a sort of distant look. He was actually fascinated to see her room, to see her in her pajamas, to see her when the door was closed. It made her seem more real, more human. Seeing her like this reminded him just how good, how real, she was. Her innocence and kindness hadn't waned, she hadn't changed, because there was nothing else. This was Aoko.

He nodded at her offer and sat down on the futon. There is a strange silence before Yoh summons the courage to do what he loathes most, to tell the truth. Like tearing off a bandaide he would do this quickly, the hardest part first then maybe the rest of it would come. "You asked me why I did it and I never answered you, remember?"

Aoko glanced at Yoh curiously, she knew what he was talking about of course, but after being brushed off the first time she hadn't really expected him to bring it up again. For her 'Later' usually meant never. And Yoh hadn't even said later, he'd just ended the feed.

"Yeah..." She said slowly, almost suspiciously. Was something wrong? Or was he about to tell her because he wanted it off his chest? If that was the case, she'd gladly listen- she'd been told once or twice she was a good listener.

"Because I don't trust cops," Yoh answered, staring at the ground. "I hate cops. I always have. They never came after my dad and then they were immediately there for Minatsuki. They don't care about anything but everything looking calm and peaceful, they don't give a flying shit about real people. Girl can scream and scream for help and the only person who knows anything is her goddamn brother! While her fucking father tries to rape her! No one cares as long as it happens behind closed doors. No one ever cares. And I saw that this place was going to end up like the real world, with pointless laws that don't protect anyone and I knew that it would be only a matter of time before someone slapped a straitjacket on my sister. So I killed Miria and I tried to make it look like it was that blond detective who shot Keiichi." Yoh stops, fists clenching and unclenching, his eyes were locked on the floor. Why was he telling her this? And now that he started, why couldn't he stop?

Aoko was silent a long time after he'd finished. Sometime during his story she'd put her hand over her mouth. How was she supposed to react to that? And she couldn't even fathom not trusting cops, her earliest memory was at the police station, after all. And her dad was a cop, the person she trusted most. ...that didn't sound right though. She was sure her dad would have tried to do something... but what would that something be? She had read her dad's handbooks more times then she could count.

"Ne, did you ever have evidence?" She chanced asking. If he did then Aoko was quite convinced those officers in his world deserved nothing less then to have their badges ripped off of their chest.

Edited 2010-11-07 02:40 (UTC)

Fathers. Yoh doesn't trust them either. He gives her a bitter little smile, "we were walking evidence. Minatsuki never had marks on her face, dad said she was too pretty." He says "dad" with such spite. "But my eyes were black half the time, bruises all over, welts. No one cares, Aoko. I've never met anyone who cares...besides you." He looks up at her. "You actually do. You helped me when you didn't even know me, you ripped up your own scarf for me. Most people I know would kill over a scarf. I'm not going to pretend I understand it or that I would do the same thing, because fuck it, I can't and I wouldn't, but..." he pauses and studies her face, "it's just one of the things that makes you beautiful." His heart is pounding in his chest, telling the truth for him was as hard as lying was to some people. It was hard to wrap his mind around, let alone his tongue. But now it was pouring out and Yoh knew he couldn't stop himself. He hadn't been this honest in years. He hadn't been this honest since before his mother died.

"What!?" She completely missed that comment because-What the Hell!? No one cared!? At all? But a police officer was supposed to protect citizens and suspicious bruising would be looked into and-Gaaaah.

Someone should be losing their badge over this. "I can't believe that! That's so wrong! I know several police officers that would have jumped at something like that if there was evidence all the others I know would have gone to social services. What the Hell kind of self respecting officer ignores something like that? Not only are they supposed to be good people and help people that need it- they all have fucking quotas to fill! How the Hell could they just brush something like that off?! That's sick! They should have their fucking badges yanked off their uniform-Geez!" Aoko was forced take several deep breaths as her ranting had proved once and for all she was definitely Nakamori Ginzo's daughter.

"I said--" but before he could repeat himself and compliment her again when he realized what she was still on. He laughed and shook his head. "Aoko," he said, "if you were a cop, you'd be a good one. Probably the only one." Maybe that'd get through to her. "I lived in a bad neighborhood," he said, as if that would help. "Nobody wants to go down into those places. I wasn't lying when I said I couldn't afford cram school." Nor would his father care.

He hadn't even gotten too far yet, his father was just one factor. But, for the moment his lips were sealed. But God knows how long that would last around her.

"Hey!" She snapped her attention back to the blond boy beside her. "My dad's a cop and he's the best one I know-and hang out at the police station when I'm allowed so of course I know a lot of good cops." Of course Aoko didn't take kindly to that sort of comment. Especially when it implied her dad wasn't a good cop. Which he was. Which was why he was always so busy.

"Don't say that again or I'll have to hit you." she threatened.

Yoh held up his hands in apology. "Sorry," he doesn't want to get hit. But, in Yoh's mind, "dad" and "cop" did not belong in the same sentence as "good." It was so strange, though, talking to her like this, like everything was normal, like he was a real person and not just a thieving liar.

"Good." She nodded in satisfaction and then slumped back against the the futon again. It really was like the one back home-it even had the stain from the bit of chocolate ice cream had split on her futon while they were doing homework one night-she has nearly killed him for that stain- and now it was kind of like a fond memory... she still didn't like the idea of her futon being stained though.

"Am I still in trouble, officer," Yoh joked, putting the hat from his costume on her head.

"Eh?" Aoko blinked as she suddenly found a police hat on her her head-personally, she liked the riot gear better. But one day, one day she'd join the the task force and help her dad on the force as she was pretty damn sure he wouldn't be retiring for possibly another twenty years. "...Who said you were in trouble?"

"Weren't you mad at me?" he asked. Damn, she actually did look pretty cute in that hat. He brushed a rogue hair from her face.

"Why would I be mad about the first time. If you do again then I will be mad. And don't ever call my Dad a hopeless inspector." she warned thinking about a certain, stupid, spiky haired magician. Stupid Kaito Rrrrgh.

Any annoyance she felt at the thought of Kaito bad mouthing her father quickly deflated though, as he wasn't there to smack upside the head. Ah well, she'd get him later. Making no move to take the police hat off she slumped against the back of the futon.

He watched her and cocked his head slightly, "what's bothering you?" He leaned back.

"Thinking about how to get Kaito back for flipping my skirt again."

Oh. Great. Him. Yoh flopped back against the futon. Nothing stung him more than that name at that moment. He felt so open, like he had a gaping wound in his chest instead of being an open book. It hurt that he was telling the truth for the first time in years and she wasn't.... But Yoh didn't even acknowledge that, he couldn't. Because the idea was painful and emotional pain was something he long learned to avoid and ignore. "Right," he said, dejectedly.

Aoko blinked and looked over at him. Had she done something wrong? She frowned and scooted a little closer to him. Trying to judge the kind of mood he was in like she had always done when Kaito was still recovering from Toiichi's death.

"...Are you okay?" Just because she could say the wrong thing didn't mean that she was completely oblivious to everything around her. She made mistakes, hell, she made a lot of mistakes but that didn't mean she wasn't going to try and fix them.

He looked up at her and wondered what she was thinking. What the truth was for her. Whether he was just talking. "Aoko, I want to tell you something else." He said, sitting up again. "Just listen..."

Aoko froze at the mention of her name without an honorific and just nodded. She'd listen just as she was best at. The way he had used her name alerted her that this was serious and she had to act mature now.

"Of course..."

"I..." he stopped and swallowed. If he didn't do this now, he never would. "I really like you," he managed. "I think you're smart, and beautiful, and kind, and...I..." he stops there and gives her an embarrassed smile. It didn't matter what he thought, because at the end of the day he was a lying scumbag thief and she was a cop's daughter. "I just wanted you to know that."

Aoko was silent for a long time. She really wasn't sure what to say. It was a fact that she did like him-she had liked him as more then just a friend but right now she couldn't get over the fact he'd killed someone. That he could actually go though and take a life-it was...scary. Honestly.

However, she wasn't ready to cut him out entirely as she really felt like she she'd never be able to forgive herself if she just refused to give him another chance.

"Yoh-kun..." She started, wondering how she could go about this without hurting him too bad. She had ignored crushes before in order to avoid turning people down-she had never had anyone admit to it though. Mostly, because they were afraid of Kaito, but Aoko wasn't aware of that part.

"I think-I think you need to think about who you are, what you've done and what you're going to do before you decide something like that." She stated. "You obviously have to work through some stuff... um, Of course I'll stay right here, and I'll still be your friend if you really want-I'll help you in anyway I can."

For a second his heart stopped. But her words meant more than she would know. In the darkest corner of his heart he knew this would happen. Rational thought made him think that she would throw him out of her room. He was hoping she would forgive him and kiss him.

Something about this seemed almost like it was from a story. He had to prove himself to win her hand. But there was something about it that made this all the more difficult. He didn't want to find himself. He lived in a world of lies and denial. It was easier that way. It was safer.

"Who I am?" he breathed.

Aoko's eyes softened and she looked at him closely. She really wished she could tell him for him but that just wasn't possible. She felt bad for him, she really did but there wasn't anything she really could do aside from continue to be his friend.

"Yoh-kun... you have to figure that out on your own... but, you can start by thinking about if you're happy with all the decisions you've made."

He nods, slowly processing all this. "Thanks, Aoko-san...thanks." He takes a deep breath, swallows, then. "I don't like killing people. I hate killing people. I don't want to do it. It hurts. Killing people, does." He puts his hand on his chest. "The first time I did it, it was because I had to. Second time, it was almost an accident. Third time...I...I regret it. I'll always regret it. It's like...it's like a part of you dies too. So am I happy with the decisions I've made. No. I'm not. I never will be. Because that's how life works. You just gotta survive, that's all there is to it. So you just have to be tougher than the other guy for seventy years until you finally...die." He looks away. "I know it's grim, but it's life. I'm sorry. You don't want to hear that."

But here it's different. Here he can change his fate. Here he was...safe.

"No, I'm not happy," he sounds thoughtful, almost lost. "But...I...I can change it...can't I?" He didn't mean to say it out loud but for some reason he did.

She winced at the thought of him killing more then one person but just swallowed and tried to pretend like it wasn't bothering her as much as it was.

"Of course you can change-the only things that they can hold you accountable for here are the things you've already here. But-but nothing from before should matter, ne?"

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Truth is a loaded word

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/kicks yahoo for putting this tag in the spam folder. it's apparently against Yoh/Aoko B|

:<

/punts it

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